"I don't trust people who don't love themselves and tell me, 'I love you.' ... There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt." 
~ Maya Angelou
 
You can’t give something you don’t have! In order for any parent to be able to extend love unconditionally that parent must first love themselves. It is not possible for someone to love another fully without loving themselves. You can only really love your children if you love yourself.
At one of my recent talks on Unconditional Love, a mother told me that her young daughter had asked her “Mommy, who do you love the most – me or you?”. That mother had a difficult time answering her. She said “I love you to the moon and back, but if I didn’t love myself I wouldn’t be able to love you, so I love me just as much!”. That’s such a beautiful, but uncommon sentiment.

This week, the Choose Again blog features a sample of one of the elements of the online course we are currently creating. 
Our goal is to bring as many elements of our Retreat and Workshops into the course as possible, and those of you who have visited either will know how important meditation is to the work. 
We are recording a series of guided meditations for the online course, and here is one for you to try now. Let us know what you think!

“I am the Decider!” 
George W. Bush, 2006

For many of us decisions can be a source of great anxiety.
Most often than not, we are unsure of how to decide, and what makes a good decision.

But have you ever stopped to asked yourself - what does it mean to decide?

Most of us think of "decision" as the activity of choosing between things or situations in our lives. 

I may decide to buy this or that brand of toothpaste. 
I may decide to leave my job and my wife for a life of stamp collecting.
Or I may even decide to invade an oil-rich Middle Eastern country if I happen to be in that position. 

But, I would like to propose a different view of decision making. ​

Instructions for "Set Your Compass to Love"

1. On waking in the morning, take a minute to ground yourself by taking three belly breaths.
2. Focus your mind on the feeling of Love. Try to feel it in your body. If you need a little help, think of someone you love dearly, or your pet, and this will bring a sensation of Love to awareness.
3. Set your compass toward this feeling for the coming day.
4. Every time you face a decision today, or have an interaction with someone, remember this feeling, and let it be a guide for your choices, decisions and actions.

You can either go through life unconsciously reacting to what comes, or consciously responding to what comes. When you consciously respond with Love, you put yourself in a position of strength and control, regardless of how uncontrollable events may seem.
To consciously respond, you need to know the direction you want to go in, otherwise you will flounder from one day to the next, hoping things will work out. Know your purpose in life and you will know what direction to take when you have choices to make—you will know what direction to set your compass toward. Let that direction be the giving and receiving of Love.

Instructions for "Watching Traffic in Your Mind":

• Stop what you are doing, take a grounding belly breath, and close your eyes if you can.
• Bring your attention to the thoughts in your mind.
• Watch them pass as if you were watching traffic pass on the road.
• Resist the temptation to get into any of the thought cars, just let them pass. 
• If you do find you have gotten in a thought car, no judgment, just get out and go back to watching the thought cars pass.

Meditation isn't about emptying the mind of all thought, it's about being able to observe thought without getting involved with it.
This is a key skill when doing the Six Step Process. If you are not aware that you are in an upset because you have gotten carried away with it, then you won't be able to recognise that choice point where you either (a) pick up your Six Steps to Freedom book, or (b) you stay in the upset. 
This meditation is a great way to practice strengthening the muscle of choice!