In the previous posts, I have established that we all grow up with barriers to love that can be removed when we tackle our negative beliefs. In this week’s post, I’ll explain give some strategies for helping your children to own their Inherent Worth so that they can receive the love that you offer.
A child who has a strong belief that he is not good enough, bad, unworthy or any other belief, will find it impossible to let love in. That child will think, consciously or unconsciously “If only you knew how bad, unworthy, unlovable (fill in the blanks) I am, you would not choose to love me. You have to say you love me because you are my parent, but I can’t believe it.” This is the subconscious thinking of any child who has a strong negative belief about themselves. We may not be able to tell what that belief is, so the antidote to all negative beliefs is to own our Inherent Worth. We cannot be Inherently Worthy and unlovable or worthless at the same time. Therefore, it is imperative that parents spend some time helping their children to tune into their Inherent Worth.
"I don't trust people who don't love themselves and tell me, 'I love you.' ... There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt."
~ Maya Angelou
You can’t give something you don’t have! In order for any parent to be able to extend love unconditionally that parent must first love themselves. It is not possible for someone to love another fully without loving themselves. You can only really love your children if you love yourself.
At one of my recent talks on Unconditional Love, a mother told me that her young daughter had asked her “Mommy, who do you love the most – me or you?”. That mother had a difficult time answering her. She said “I love you to the moon and back, but if I didn’t love myself I wouldn’t be able to love you, so I love me just as much!”. That’s such a beautiful, but uncommon sentiment.
This week, the Choose Again blog features a sample of one of the elements of the online course we are currently creating.
Our goal is to bring as many elements of our Retreat and Workshops into the course as possible, and those of you who have visited either will know how important meditation is to the work.
We are recording a series of guided meditations for the online course, and here is one for you to try now. Let us know what you think!
“I am the Decider!”
George W. Bush, 2006
For many of us decisions can be a source of great anxiety.
Most often than not, we are unsure of how to decide, and what makes a good decision.
But have you ever stopped to asked yourself - what does it mean to decide?
Most of us think of "decision" as the activity of choosing between things or situations in our lives.
I may decide to buy this or that brand of toothpaste.
I may decide to leave my job and my wife for a life of stamp collecting.
Or I may even decide to invade an oil-rich Middle Eastern country if I happen to be in that position.
But, I would like to propose a different view of decision making.
Instructions for "Set Your Compass to Love"
To consciously respond, you need to know the direction you want to go in, otherwise you will flounder from one day to the next, hoping things will work out. Know your purpose in life and you will know what direction to take when you have choices to make—you will know what direction to set your compass toward. Let that direction be the giving and receiving of Love.
How to do Positivity Training (You'll need a little notebook):
When you think a certain way for a long time, you strengthen the pathways in your brain that run these thoughts, and it takes deliberate attention and perseverance to form new pathways.
This week's practice is scientifically proven to forge new, more positive pathways in the brain, helping you be more naturally aware of the good that already exists in your life.
It's a practice we do at dinner every night at all our retreats and workshops, and clients report experiencing a profound shift in how they view their day as a result.
Instructions for "Watching Traffic in Your Mind":
Meditation isn't about emptying the mind of all thought, it's about being able to observe thought without getting involved with it.
This is a key skill when doing the Six Step Process. If you are not aware that you are in an upset because you have gotten carried away with it, then you won't be able to recognise that choice point where you either (a) pick up your Six Steps to Freedom book, or (b) you stay in the upset.
This meditation is a great way to practice strengthening the muscle of choice!
"My mind is not my enemy. It is what I do with it and because of it that can hurt me." - Forsyth & Eifert
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