​“Wisdom begins when a man finds out that he does not know what he thinks he knows.” - Plato
The Six-Step Process is an extraordinarily effective way to remove barriers to love and to thereby increase happiness in those who choose to use it. There are, however, a few pitfalls to be aware of. The ego’s very survival is threatened by this process. It is sly and even vicious in its endeavor to reassert itself. Here are the most common challenges:
 
1) Step Two: Me. It’s about me.
Do not stray from Step two. I cannot emphasize this enough. Do not fall for the temptation to “justify” your feelings. It is so easy and tempting to admit or recognize that you are upset (Step one) and then immediately either tell yourself or others why you are upset. The 

​While I was working at El Cielo, our residential treatment center, I first heard the phrase “This is what Love looks like right now” used by Diederik, in response to what looked like an adverse situation.  I didn’t really know what he meant, but as he said it, I felt a sense of relief, and an acceptance in myself that had not been present the moment before.  Over the next few weeks, I saw he and other co-workers respond in the same way to apparent difficulties.  This was not yet a tool I was using, but I became more curious each time I heard it, at the sense of relief I experienced.

I was talking to someone yesterday who said to me “I’m really in the trenches lately, and I was feeling so great.  I can’t figure out what’s going on!” He said that after some time of feeling light and peaceful, he seemed to have lost the experience and life was feeling like a struggle again..  He said ”Where is the me that was so happy a few days ago?”
 
If you sometimes find yourself in a similar spot, here are 4 tools that I have found effective in helping to change direction:

As I am writing this article in the early part of 2015, I am now six weeks home (in the Netherlands) from an intensive stay at the Choose Again Centre in Costa Rica. I met Diederik four years ago in the Netherlands during a one-day workshop. It was there that I was introduced for the first time to his six steps to freedom. I still remember that Diederik then  said that I am able to quicken my way out of negative emotions. That intrigued me and I was curious how. And I must say that I was immediately touched by Diederik’s approach: open hearted and uncompromising. I never thought I would get an opportunity to visit Costa Rica but end October 2014 I got the chance to go.
With Maurice, a good friend of mine I went to Costa Rica. For three weeks I participated in the intensive program of Choose Again. What a blessing!