One of the key ideas we use here at Choose Again is that “nothing outside of me can bring me anything I want.”
Many of us are already familiar with this idea. We know that "happiness comes from within.” Or at least we have learned to accept this, intellectually. As familiar as this idea may have become by now, it is always worth taking a pause over.
There is a great treasure buried underneath the simplicity of this statement - “nothing outside of me can bring me anything I want.”
In this blog, I would I like to offer a way I have found to “dig deeper” into this treasure. If nothing else, it can offer you a fun and thought-provoking way to think and reflect on a statement that might have already become a dry cliché.
So, allow yourself a few minutes in which to reflect, and to enjoy. If you have a journal nearby bring it, or you can use anything to write down what you will discover.
One question we often get asked at Choose Again is - what is the purpose of a relationship?
And in particular - what is the purpose of a romantic relationship?
The purpose of a relationship - from the point of view of Choose Again - is to reflect back to me the core beliefs that I still need to work on. In other words the purpose of the relationship, is to bring out of hiding all the false ideas I have about myself.
It’s a fact - I will always attract into my life someone who will reflect to me the areas that I most need to work on. In fact, that is the real purpose of the relationship. This is true for all relationships - whether they are intimate relationships or working relationships.
The key is to not be afraid of what my partner will reflect back to me. I need not fear the conflicts in the relationship, but welcome them.
You will often hear Diederik refer to the 'Ripple effect' of the work we do at Choose Again. This is where one person comes to the Intensive Retreat Centre, or a Workshop, and experiences the transformation that the Six Steps to Freedom provides. Then, they take that transformation back to their family, or place of work, and people are curious about what has caused this change. Then, they try the work for themselves!
This is always a privilege to witness, and we want to share with you the story of one family who took this one step further, and started hosting Choose Again workshops in their purpose built Yurt!
“If you think you're enlightened, go spend a week with your family” (Ram Das)
Many of us, are profoundly dreading the upcoming holiday season. The idea of being in close quarters with a less-than-functional family can send cold shivers down the spine of even the most enlightened being.
“How am I going to handle all the intrigues and unresolved issues that are ever-ready to explode over the dining table? When will it ever end? And how do I get out of this hell-realm alive?”
Thankfully it doesn’t have to be this way.
In conjunction with our upcoming weekend workshop, "Harmonious Relationships make Happy Holidays" we’ve asked the staff at El Cielo to share some reflections about their past holiday experiences. We wanted to find out whether and how their view of the holidays have changed by applying the Choose Again methodology.
We hope their perspective will inspire you.
“Resolving your own personal conflicts is the first step to ending global conflict.”
- Joseph Eliezer
I appreciate this thought, and would expand it to say that:
Healing the addiction to conflict that lives in my mind is the only thing that will heal the conflict, that seems to be going on, out in the world.
I’ve thought about this often in the last few years. Two things that have brought it into focus for me are recent school shootings and the rise of Donald Trump’s popularity as a political candidate in the United States.
When I first started hearing about school shootings, they were far from home. I recognized
“Wisdom begins when a man finds out that he does not know what he thinks he knows.” - Plato
The Six-Step Process is an extraordinarily effective way to remove barriers to love and to thereby increase happiness in those who choose to use it. There are, however, a few pitfalls to be aware of. The ego’s very survival is threatened by this process. It is sly and even vicious in its endeavor to reassert itself. Here are the most common challenges:
1) Step Two: Me. It’s about me.
Do not stray from Step two. I cannot emphasize this enough. Do not fall for the temptation to “justify” your feelings. It is so easy and tempting to admit or recognize that you are upset (Step one) and then immediately either tell yourself or others why you are upset. The
I recently accompanied my sister to a chemotherapy treatment. We enjoyed a beautiful drive down the island - the sun was shining, the water was sparkling, and the road was edged with summer greenery.
When we arrived at the hospital it was very busy, and we were seated in a small nook for her treatment, because the main room was full. She sat in her reclining lounge chair, and was hooked up to intravenous fluids that dripped into the vein in her arm. There was a little table on wheels beside her chair, and I sat kitty-corner to her on a visitor’s chair.
We talked at times, sipping coffee and tea that volunteers brought around. Sometimes we sat in silence, enjoying the day and each other’s company. Nurses came and went
Do we really need a ‘season’ to be jolly? Doesn’t this imply that December is a great season so you should be jolly? Is it the season that makes me jolly? I can say for certain there have been times during the Christmas ‘season’ when I’ve felt everything but jolly. If it were the season that made me jolly, wouldn’t I be happy throughout the entire month of December? When taken out of context can I still be ‘jolly’ if being in Costa Rica doesn’t really feel like a typical December season?
It’s an interesting experience being in a tropical rainforest during the Christmas Season.
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