Choose Again Society
  • EVENTS
  • COSTA RICA RETREATS
    • Costa Rica Workshops
    • About El Cielo
    • El Cielo Residency
  • FRANCE WORKSHOPS
    • France Workshops 2023
    • About Les Labadous
  • COURSES
    • Half-day introductory Workshop
    • Practicing ACIM with Dawn Green
    • Mastering the Six Steps
  • Circles
  • Counselling
  • ABOUT
    • Diederik Wolsak with Dr. Gabor Maté
    • The Six Steps Approach
    • The Book
    • Our Staff
    • Testimonials
    • Donate
    • Videos
    • Library
    • Affiliations
    • Independent Evaluation
    • Blog
  • Contact

Choose Again Blog

Subscribe to our quarterly Newsletter here

On Finding Happiness Within

2/8/2018

11 Comments

 
Picture
One of the key ideas we use here at Choose Again is that “nothing outside of me can bring me anything I want.”
 
Many of us are already familiar with this idea. We know that "happiness comes from within.” Or at least we have learned to accept this, intellectually. As familiar as this idea may have become by now, it is always worth taking a pause over.
 
There is a great treasure buried underneath the simplicity of this statement - “nothing outside of me can bring me anything I want.”
 
In this blog, I would I like to offer a way I have found to “dig deeper” into this treasure. If nothing else, it can offer you a fun and thought-provoking way to think and reflect on a statement that might have already become a dry cliché.
 
So, allow yourself a few minutes in which to reflect, and to enjoy. If you have a journal nearby bring it, or you can use anything to write down what you will discover.
Start by asking yourself the following question:
 
 Q: In this moment, what is it that I want?
 
Ask the question and then take a few moments to listen out to an inner response. Write down anything that comes to mind. Allow your mind to wander. Allow it to present to you some of the things that you might want or desire, at this moment.
 
Don't be spiritually correct. Don't judge. Just notice. You may notice, for example, that you are thinking: “I want more money, I want a better work environment, better relationships, more acknowledgment, more prestige….” Good.
 
Once you have gathered a small list, pick one item that stands out, and then move on to the next question:
 
 Q:  What would I gain by having this thing/situation/relationship?
 
 For example – I have noticed myself thinking -“oh, I wish the situation in my workplace would be more harmonious.”
 
Now I can ask myself: What will I gain by having a harmonious workplace? What will I eventually get by having the situation change in this way?
 
After a little reflection I come up with the answer – “well – a more harmonious workplace will make me feel safer. I will gain a better sense of safety by having a more harmonious work environment”.
 
So, now I recognize that what I want is not the harmonious environment in itself. What I want is the sense of safety and security that (I believe) a change in my work environment would bring me. I am discovering that what I am looking for is a state of mind that seems not to be present now. I am looking for a "sense of safety."
 
 If you do the same process with the item you have selected from your list you will - I’m quite sure - find out that it too points to a more fundamental desire. You will find that it reveals a more profound desire for a specific state of mind – e.g., love, security, self-esteem, freedom, joy, etc.
 
You can repeat this question with any (or all) of the items of your list. The more things you go through, the more you will strengthen a valuable insight:

What I desire - beyond anything specific - is happiness, love, security, self-esteem and freedom and other so-called "positive" states of mind.
 
In truth I never seek an object in itself, but always the state of mind I believe it contains and can bring me. 
 
So having established that what I want is always a particular state of mind, we can move to the next question.
 
Q: Can I find this desired state of mind within the thing/situation/relationship itself?
 
With this we come to question a deeply held belief: that the cause - or source - of my desired state of mind is within the object that I seek.
 
Allow yourself to consider this question very literally. Can I find this desired state of mind within the thing/situation/relationship itself?
 
If to use my example, I can ask:
 
Is my sense of safety (my desired state of mind) found within my work environment (the thing I want to see)?
 
When I pause and think it becomes clear that the safety that I am are seeking, is not and cannot be within, or contained in the work environment itself.
 
The state of mind of a “sense of safety”  - which is what I truly want - can never be found anywhere but in my mind.
 
Just to make the point more explicit: take for example three simple objects; a shovel, a tree, and a cup.
 
Ask yourself - can any of them contain any of my states of mind? Can my sense of wonder be “inside” a cup? Can my depression be “in the tree”? Can my joy be contained “in” a shovel?
 
Obviously not. These states of mind are always in my mind, and nowhere else.
 
Somehow I tend to forget this. I forget that all things, situations and -yes --even relationships are like the tree, the cup and the shovel – neutral by themselves. Empty of the states of mind of I tend to associate with them.
 
And since these objects do not contain the state of mind that I really want like happiness, joy or love, they cannot bring me anything I want. Only if these objects “had” happiness, love, joy, or peace within them could they offer these to me.
 
But they clearly don’t. Only my mind contains my desired states of mind and so only my mind can bring them to me.
 
And what my mind brings me, is up to me.
 
So if what I truly want is a sense of safety, I must look away from the situation at my workplace and look into the contents of my mind to find this sense of security. I must allow my mind to bring to me, or rather to reveal to me, this feeling of safety.
 
It’s no use to look for it outside of me. It’s like looking for my sense of amazement in a shovel. Or for my feeling of depression in a tree.
 
As insane as it might sound, this is what we usually do. I look for the experience of love in a relationship. I look for a feeling of safety in a situation. I look for a feeling of happiness and fulfilment in objects.
 
So now that I see how insane this tendency is, I may be more inclined to look more clearly at my life. I can see that the only “place” where I can find what I am actually looking for is within my self, or more specifically within my mind.
 
The peace, the love the happiness that I want is never, and can never be, outside me. They are always within.
 
If you have stuck with me so far, congratulations!
 
We have come together one step closer to discover what all the spiritual masters have taught. Love, peace, joy, freedom, happiness are within me.
 
Now I can stop looking outside for my states of mind.
Now I can begin to take full responsibility for the state of my mind.
 
And thank goodness for that. Because I can now stop the insane attempt to change the world so that it can give me my happiness. It’s just not there.
 
And so I need only to change my mind about the world.
I need only find out that what I seek is already, and always in me.

​By Gad Sprukt
11 Comments
Patricia González Schütz
2/8/2018 11:03:14 am

Crucial...thank you!

Reply
Sean
2/8/2018 11:11:58 am

Simja, you have brought simplicity to a powerful Truth. Thank you for your insight and the manner in which you elegantly and lovingly express same.

Reply
Frank
2/8/2018 11:14:40 am

ACIM teaches that we need not seek outside ourselves for happiness. Rumi is quoted as stating that we carry within us the wonders that we seek outside of us. This appears to be what you are saying in your blog. The Course states also that it is a course in mind training. If I recognized how difficult it is to train the mind, I'm not sure I would have signed on.

Reply
Patricia Gorter
2/8/2018 02:43:56 pm

Thank you for you clear and outstanding blog! I love it. The ACIM text card I choose today said: “nothing outside of you can make you fearful or loved, because there IS nothing outside of you.” Text 10, introduction 1:1.
God has not created anything next to you and nothing exept you exists, because you are part of him. (2:1).
It sounds so radical, but so true. All that God created is in me, and as long as I remember this, I am free of the world I thought I made, I needed, I desired, I craved for... All useless loss of energy. Stop seeking. Its all in me, unchangeable and everlasting. That’s worth to live for and to die for.

Reply
Alisha
2/8/2018 04:26:54 pm

In this moment, what is it that I want?
Bread,,,,,,,man-made.
:)
Love and miss you all..

Reply
Diane I Simard link
2/8/2018 04:52:16 pm

Thank you for reminding me that it IS always and only an inside job with the Holy Spirit.
In total gratitude
€:>))

Reply
Louise
2/11/2018 03:32:50 am

Hello,

I'm a beginner in ACIM and i have a question about this topic. I do'nt know if this is the place to do so but i do'nt know where i can ask this anywhere else. I am beginning to understand and feeling the truth about this idea but im also struggeling with this idea ( and there it is :) ) Sometimes i get happy because i watch a sunset, having a beer with friends or i play my favorite records. Those things are outside of me and im aware of that. So if i enjoy those things that are outside of me is that ego am i making a mistake?

Reply
Frank
2/11/2018 10:29:46 am

Hello Louise,

I believe the idea is that the happiness you experience is not in the sunset, beer nor friends, but is a state of mind that you can learn to access whenever you desire. The beer, friends and sunset are merely external triggers that the ego-self needs to experience happiness on a temporary and inconsistent basis. Our True Self does not require externals of any kind to experience happiness. Happiness is an attribute of our Being, which is Love. When ACIM states there is nothing outside of us, I believe it is referring to that Self, not our mistaken ego identity. Simple, huh?

Reply
Louise
2/12/2018 02:53:32 am

Thank you Frank for your reply. I think i understand what you are saying, if not let me know. But the thing is when im enyoing these things i tell myself you are enyoing things outside of you thats ego! When i think that i'm not feeling allowed to enjoy this. As result im not enjoying anything anymore. So i'm a bit stuck. How can i see this diffently?

If this is not the place to ask my questions please let me know.

Reply
Louise
2/12/2018 03:26:21 am

Ok correction. I now know that i have to ask my question to The One that knows al the answers!!!

Thank you!!!! :)

Anne and Eric
2/12/2018 06:35:43 pm

Great blog Gadi! Love the simple, clear way you are able to explain difficult concepts. Thank you.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Categories & Authors

    All
    Author - Andrew Burt
    Author Anne Andrew
    Author - Anne Andrew
    Author - Dave Vass
    Author - Dawn Green
    Author Diederik Wolsak
    Author - Diederik Wolsak
    Author - Elaine Clark
    Author - Floris Odding
    Author - Gad Sprukt
    Client Perspectives
    Diet & Health
    Family
    Forgiveness
    Gratitude
    Intensive Retreat In Costa Rica
    International Workshops
    Meditation
    Parenting
    Practical Tips
    Recipes
    Relationships
    Sport
    Staff Feature
    The Six Steps To Freedom

    Archives

    November 2022
    April 2022
    December 2021
    December 2020
    May 2020
    October 2019
    July 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    April 2016
    March 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    July 2011
    June 2011
    March 2011
    December 2010

    RSS Feed

Read an independent evaluation of our program

Choose Again Evaluation.pdf
File Size: 476 kb
File Type: pdf
Download File


QUESTIONS?

Contact Us

GET daily INSPIRATION TO YOUR EMAIL

Subscribe Now
SOCIAL MEDIA

Circles

COUNSELLING

RetreatS COSTA RICA 

Diederik's Book


SEARCH THE SITE

  • EVENTS
  • COSTA RICA RETREATS
    • Costa Rica Workshops
    • About El Cielo
    • El Cielo Residency
  • FRANCE WORKSHOPS
    • France Workshops 2023
    • About Les Labadous
  • COURSES
    • Half-day introductory Workshop
    • Practicing ACIM with Dawn Green
    • Mastering the Six Steps
  • Circles
  • Counselling
  • ABOUT
    • Diederik Wolsak with Dr. Gabor Maté
    • The Six Steps Approach
    • The Book
    • Our Staff
    • Testimonials
    • Donate
    • Videos
    • Library
    • Affiliations
    • Independent Evaluation
    • Blog
  • Contact