"Sometimes people walk away from love because it is so beautiful that it terrifies them. Sometimes they leave because the connection shines a bright light on their dark places and they are not ready to work them through. Sometimes they run away because they are not developmentally prepared to merge with another- they have more individuation work to do first. Sometimes they take off because love is not a priority in their lives- they have another path and purpose to walk first. Sometimes they end it because they prefer a relationship that is more practical than conscious, one that does not threaten the ways that they organize reality. Because so many of us carry shame, we have a tendency to personalize love's leavings, triggered by the rejection and feelings of abandonment. But this is not always true. Sometimes it has nothing to do with us. Sometimes the one who leaves is just not ready to hold it safe. Sometimes they know something we don't- they know their limits at that moment in time. Real love is no easy path- readiness is everything. May we grieve loss without personalizing it. May we learn to love ourselves in the absence of the lover." ~ Jeff Brown
What a beautifully non-judgmental way of looking at how and why relationships change form from time to time. Taking things personally is the surest and shortest path to profound unhappiness. Looking at any situation with the curiosity of a child wondering what will be next allows for healing of old beliefs no matter what seems to be happening at any time. No blame. No self-blame. No blame of other.
Diederik Wolsak is program director at Choose Again