Become something?

"I could not become anything; neither good nor bad; neither a scoundrel nor an honest man; neither a hero nor an insect. And now I am eking out my days in my corner, taunting myself with the bitter and entirely useless consolation that an intelligent man cannot seriously become anything, that only a fool can become something." ~ Dostoyevsky

​If Dostoyevsky is saying that he could not ‘become anything’ because whatever he ‘became’ would inherently be meaningless, then I wholeheartedly agree. But if that is in fact what he is saying then why the ‘entirely useless consolation’, did he not really believe that? I can become virtually anything I choose to become (you should see me doing pirouettes with the Bolshoi) and I am also keenly aware that whatever I choose to become ultimately has no meaning. In other words: only a fool can become something and believe it has any meaning at all. My worth is established by God, it is unchangeable. Now go have some fun.
Love, Diederik