“The opposite of ‘never enough’ isn’t abundance or ‘more than you could ever imagine’. The opposite of scarcity is enough.” ~ Brene Brown
This sentence really hit home for me. Abundance is certainly a word that gets tossed around a lot these days, side-saddled with ‘the Universe’ as part of our ‘birth-right’ to experiencing life. Like the vastness of the universe, abundance--and the law of attraction--can be a philosophy that propels one forward to future tomorrows, seeking out new ‘life’ without first attending and connecting with what I left behind. The grass is only greener on the other side because I have neglected to water my lawn.
"Forgive but do not forget, or you will be hurt again. Forgiving changes the perspectives. Forgetting loses the lesson." ~ Paulo Coelho
This is becoming a wee bit of a theme. Choose Again sees this quite differently. I teach (and learn over and over) that the hurt was a reaction, a feeling, chosen by a self I made up. The ‘lesson’ is that I made up a self that deserves to be hurt, can be hurt and will be hurt. Once I apply forgiveness to the mistaken identity, a similar event, when it re-occurs, will be experienced very differently. Not only that, but as I transform the self to the Self, even the circumstances leading to the painful experience in the past are not likely to arise again.
"To be wronged is nothing, unless you continue to remember it." ~ Confucius
What a perfect thought on Easter morning. What do I choose to remember? Whatever it is, my carefully selected memory determines my experience. It is my memory I suffer from. The event in which I believe I was wronged is long over. Transform the one remembering, and the planet seems to shift dramatically. Happy Easter!
"Forgiveness has nothing to do with absolving a criminal of his crime. It has everything to do with relieving oneself of the burden of being a victim--letting go of the pain and transforming oneself from victim to survivor." ~ C.R. Strahan
Ahh, the belief in ‘victim’, how it colours everything I see or think or feel. Easter is such a perfect moment to check in and see how much of the ‘victim’ still runs the show; to note how I have interpreted one of the greatest demonstrations of absolute, unconditional forgiveness as a dreadful ‘victim’ story. The ‘victim’ position is horribly addictive and equally horribly tough to release: the pay-off is so universal; to be coddled as a ‘victim’ is so seductive and yet so deadly. By all means ‘transform oneself from victim to survivor’ but don’t stop there. Surviving is nice but now it is time to Thrive! Time to claim my Easter!
The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself. If we don't have that we never grow, we never learn, and sure as hell we should never teach." ~ Maya Angelou
If the message of the crucifixion was that I cannot be hurt and that to allow you to think you can hurt me is, in fact, cruelty, then I have to get to Know the Self that cannot be hurt. Failing that I will forever stay the hurt little boy I made up so many years ago.
“It is always a danger
To aspirants on the Path
When they begin
To believe and act
As if the ten thousand idiots
Who so long ruled and lived inside
Have all packed their bags
And skipped town
Died.” ~ Hafez
Core beliefs are tenacious, that is just how it is. I may have processed the same belief hundreds of times and then, seemingly out of the blue, there it is again. Maybe it does not scream quite as loudly as it did twenty years ago, maybe it does not urge me to break things, maybe it has become more subtle, but, make no mistake, the belief is still there. The good news is that is getting weaker and that I am less and less tolerant of its childish rants. Love, Diederik
“A man that flies from his fear may find that he has only taken a short cut to meet it.” ~ J.R.R Tolkien
Now that's a scary thought. Yet I can definitely relate. My aversion to conflict, couched under the desire for harmony in my relationships, will lead me to live a guarded life where I am never truly being-with another--of communicating one's insecurities...which may come out as a perceived grievance or hurt. It may appear as messy when you do this, as there is always an element of risk. But amidst the 'chaos' or disruption is space for growth, and isn't that what relationships are about?
“We believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another.” ~ Veronica Roth
Yes, and if I stand up for you out of obligation, cultural or moral pressure (after all, it is the "right thing to do") it is meaningless. If I stand up for you because you are Me, because you are the Self, it becomes automatic, selfless and an extension of Love. Syrians (and black, white, pink, yellow, orange or blue people) are the Self.
"Man can will nothing unless he has first understood that he must count on no one but himself; that he is alone, abandoned on earth in the midst of his infinite responsibilities, without help, with no other aim than the one he sets himself, with no other destiny than the one he forges for himself on this earth." ~ Jean-Paul Sartre
Brilliant ego statement OR a statement of surrender. When I ask the ego to forge my destiny the results are not pretty. When I surrender and ask the higher, loving Self to take over my life starts to flow so easily and beautifully.
"Freedom is what we do with what is done to us." ~ Jean-Paul Sartre
Yes, agreed, that is the first step to freedom. Could the next step be to recognize that nothing is ever done to me, that whatever happens was at the deepest level my choice, and that I chose it in order to Know that I chose it, and that Knowing that I chose it takes me back to absolute authorship and Trust and Love? Now, THAT is Freedom! Piece of cake ....
Diederik Wolsak is program director at Choose Again