I  was looking through some quotes the other day and I ran across one that said something like:
Be good to yourself. Forgive yourself. When you treat yourself well life will treat you well.

I eyed it dubiously and then moved on to other sources.  I was bothered by it, though so I went back to re-read it.  It is an idea that I have heard many times over the last few years, expressed in a variety of ways. 

I am uneasy around it because it sounds like something the small self would grab onto, in pursuit of building a better small self.  I agree that it is important to love, forgive and be true to myself.  But I cannot do or be any of these things as long as I am attempting, from the ego, or false identity, to be more forgiving, or loving or self-accepting. ​

"The willingness to trust and follow your heart - not the reactive ego that is often interpreted to be the heart, but the heart that longs to know God - this is a tell-tale sign of whether or not one is reaching maturity".
(from The Way of Mastery)
 
This quote reminds me of the importance of distinguishing between the guidance of the ego and the guidance of Inner Wisdom.  A few years ago it became popular to speak of being "guided" to certain decisions or actions.  As I listened to my own mind, and the minds of others, it began to seem as if there was often a hefty dose of self-delusion involved.  I saw how easy it was to simply follow the dictates and compulsions of the ego, and to believe that I was following the guidance of the Holy Spirit. This is an aspect of the spiritualized ego.
 
Conversely, sometimes people have told me they asked for guidance and received it, but 

​“Wisdom begins when a man finds out that he does not know what he thinks he knows.” - Plato
The Six-Step Process is an extraordinarily effective way to remove barriers to love and to thereby increase happiness in those who choose to use it. There are, however, a few pitfalls to be aware of. The ego’s very survival is threatened by this process. It is sly and even vicious in its endeavor to reassert itself. Here are the most common challenges:
 
1) Step Two: Me. It’s about me.
Do not stray from Step two. I cannot emphasize this enough. Do not fall for the temptation to “justify” your feelings. It is so easy and tempting to admit or recognize that you are upset (Step one) and then immediately either tell yourself or others why you are upset. The 

​While I was working at El Cielo, our residential treatment center, I first heard the phrase “This is what Love looks like right now” used by Diederik, in response to what looked like an adverse situation.  I didn’t really know what he meant, but as he said it, I felt a sense of relief, and an acceptance in myself that had not been present the moment before.  Over the next few weeks, I saw he and other co-workers respond in the same way to apparent difficulties.  This was not yet a tool I was using, but I became more curious each time I heard it, at the sense of relief I experienced.

I was talking to someone yesterday who said to me “I’m really in the trenches lately, and I was feeling so great.  I can’t figure out what’s going on!” He said that after some time of feeling light and peaceful, he seemed to have lost the experience and life was feeling like a struggle again..  He said ”Where is the me that was so happy a few days ago?”
 
If you sometimes find yourself in a similar spot, here are 4 tools that I have found effective in helping to change direction:

​1)  When in a busy location (school, shopping centre, public transit) or even during a family dinner.  Take a moment to look at the people around you.  Focus your attention on one person and say to yourself.  “What I see in you that I love about myself is my…” then go ahead and list what it is you see in the other person that reflects the innocence within you.  Another form of this same strategy invites you to state “What I see in you that I struggle with in myself is my…” and list a trait you judge yourself for having.  Once identified, ask